Friday, September 09, 2005

I'm being forced to write this...

Our topic is the essence of toaster-ovens. The questions toward which this inquiry leads us are puzzling and exciting, often opaque, but always in some sense there to deal with and make sense of. These questions must be encountered for they constitute the very essence of what it is to be a human insofar as toasting lies at the core of our being.

The kinds of toasters, or more specifically, toaster-ovens, that should provide some sort of focus to our inquiry are manifold. They must all be dealt with in turn.

The first and most common sense notion of the essence of a toaster-oven, inaugurated by the ancients and carried forth into our intellectual and metaphysical history, is that of the "two-tiered" or "double" toaster-oven. Interesting that the "essence" of the definition of toaster-oven is based on a relation to the notion of a "single" toaster-oven, but hey, who said toasting was rational?

As the Scholasticism of the Medieval era dawned as the predominant authority in all matters toasting and otherwise, the notion of toasting as well as the essence of "toasting-ovens" was exposed to a subtle but important revision. No longer was the double-toaster associated with what it meant to really "be" a toaster-oven. A sense of individuality, a toaster-oven unto itself, was adopted as authoritative, and the single-oven toaster emerged on the horizon to take the place for which it had been hitherto denied.

Today, the question of Toaster-Ovens has long since been forgotten. It behooves us to study this question because it is through an understanding of the essence of toasting and toaster-ovens that we glimpse a portrait of ourselves, ambiguous as it sometimes may appear.